


The Long Road Home

by Thecsquirrel



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Post-Captain Marvel (2019), an angsty teenager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 04:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18613150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thecsquirrel/pseuds/Thecsquirrel
Summary: What if Carol doesn't return for four years?  What happens when Monica doesn't look up into the sky with hope anymore?*note:  this doesnotbelong to myStardustuniverse.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _So, it looks like I've got at least one more last gasp in me before Sunday's viewing of Endgame._
> 
> _story note: I started thinking about how I have no doubt that the MCU will shaft us all and make it so that after finding her family, Carol will somehow manage to stay away for 25 years. (Insert "that's not realistic" gif.) Anyway, out of those musings came this angsty little idea that focuses a lot on Carol and Monica and what would happen to that relationship if Carol left for a long time again._
> 
> _Still not quite sure how I feel about it, but I wanted to get it out of my head, so here goes nothing!_
> 
> _As always, mistakes are mine._

Four years ago, three women stood on a lawn in the Louisiana evening exchanging hugs and 'I love yous' and 'I'll be back as soon as I can'. Voices were hopeful, and eyes were filled with joyful tears and everything was possible. Four years ago, brown eyes sparkled with love and hope as she watched her Auntie Carol, and basically her other mom, zoom off into the night sky. A much shorter Monica had clung close to her mom that night as they watched Carol zoom away and they stood below waving at the space left behind. Monica spent almost every night on those porch steps staring up at the sky just like they used to do together. She just stared and smiled and waited. Waited until her mom would call her inside with a small smile on her lips. "She'll come when she can, baby." And Monica had believed her. 

Seasons changed, birthdays and holidays came and went and pretty soon it had been four years and at some point, Monica didn't bother to look up anymore, didn't bother to even ask. She just didn't bother.

* * *

Part I.

The screen door slammed against the frame of the house and out walked Carol with Maria right beside her. Monica glared daggers at Carol and for a moment, Carol contemplated going back inside.

Her bare feet sunk into the grass as she came to stand out on the lawn. A fuming Monica folded her arms across her chest as she paced, her braids swung with each quick stop. 

"Monica, wait, please." Carol began, and she knew immediately it was a mistake as Monica abruptly stopped and whirled around on her. Neither she nor Maria moved.

"Please?! Don't 'please' me! Why the hell are you even here?" She sucked her teeth

Carol felt Maria bristle beside her, just as she herself tensed. 

"Monica, you need to calm down." Maria's tone was low and steady, but it edged toward danger.

She snapped her head towards her mom. "Calm down? For what? You may not care that she just drops in whenever she feels like it, but I do."

Maria sucked in a breath and remained calm. "That's not fair, Monica and you know it."

"Not fair?" Angry brown eyes switched between her mother and Carol. "Not fair. Not fair is waiting on somebody to make good on their promise. Not fair is waiting four damn years for somebody to come back!" Her eyes bored into Carol's.

Carol wanted to collapse under the heat of Monica's words, but she stiffened her jaw and kept her eyes up. Her voice was free of anger, not that she had any right to be angry. "Monica, if you would just-

"No, Carol!" she spat the name out like stale gum. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want the sorrys or the shoulda', coulda', wouldas. You left. You. Left. And you didn't come back."

Carol cringed and felt the acid build in her stomach. This was what she had been afraid of. She felt Maria's warm hand loosely holding to her bicep. It was just there for comfort and nothing more. "It's not what I wanted Monica, please know-

Monica threw her hands in the air, exasperated as she cut her off. "Not what you wanted! What about what we wanted?" She pointed between herself and her mom. "What about me? Where were you for the bike rides and boy talks and test help, huh?" She didn't wait for Carol to even try to answer. "Where were you when we needed you? And now you think you can just fly back in here with lasers and blasters and we're supposed to play house? I'm supposed to be happy that you get to swoop in here whenever you want and visit my mom for some quick fuck!"

Affronted, a set of "Hey!" rose up like a chorus. Maria surged forward with Monica's name on her lips, and then it was Carol's arm outstretched that kept the woman beside her at bay. 

Carol raised her voice as she frowned at Monica. "You do not talk to your mother like that!"

Monica scoffed. "You know what? You don't get to come in here and play parent. That ship sailed when you flew out of here four years ago and never looked back. We are not some way station or some fake family you can just put on and take off like your damn super suit." 

"Monica Grace Rambeau! You are on every piece of thin ice there is." Maria gritted her teeth as she seethed.

She turned towards her mom and whined, "how are you okay with this?" 

Maria understood her daughter's frustration, but it was also clear that Monica was full of the narrow vision that only a teenager could navigate. "Well, maybe if you would listen!" , she sniped back. 

"Listen for what?" Her clipped laugh was filled with a bitterness that was beyond her years, and then she turned fierce eyes back to Carol. "So, she can say how sorry she is?"

For the first time since coming outside, Carol cast her eyes down at the ground. "You can't know how sorry I am." Her voice was quiet.

Brown eyes rolled to the sky and Monica huffed. "And that's supposed to make it better? What does it even matter? You're just going to up and leave anyway. Back off to save the world and everybody else." She waved her hand through the air. "I wish you would've just stayed away."

Carol simmered with both sadness and anger, not at Monica, but at herself. Her eyes flicked up to meet Monica's. "You really think I didn't want to come back home?" Monica folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes once more. "I made a promise Monica to help those families I destroyed. I made a promise." She was nearly pleading. 

Steely brown eyes bored into Carol's as she spoke with measured words. "And what about this family?" 

If Monica had reached out and slapped her across the face it would've probably hurt less. The silence was crushing. Monica just shook her head in disgust. She glanced down and saw her mom's hand wrapped around Carol's clenched fist and she smirked. "You know what, I'll just leave you two to your thing." She sighed. "I can't be here right now." She snatched her book bag off the ground and stalked off towards the Mustang parked in the long driveway. 

Carol and Maria stood stunned quiet and just watched as the teenager tossed her bag in the car as she got in, turned on the ignition, and then promptly peeled off in reverse before hitting a quick parking break assisted spin out and then she was gone in a cloud of dust and gravel. 

Maria moved first as she dragged her free hand down her face and let her shoulders slump. She could feel Carol's hand growing warm and she let go before she turned to face the other woman. Tears filled brown eyes and she could see how hard she was biting into to her lip in a poor effort to keep her chin from trembling. 

"You okay?" Maria's words were just above a whisper. 

Carol gave a slight nod and kept her eyes front. She was clearly fighting down the want to cry. "Y-you know," she began with a shaky breath. "I, uh, I've been launched into the side of a space ship, at um, about 200 mph," she paused to swallow. "And, um, this." She stopped and drew in a deep breath to stop the tremble. "I think this hurt worse." She let go of a loose chuckle and sniffled. She couldn't stop a few stray tears. 

Maria ran her hands down Carol's arms. "C'mere." She pulled Carol to her in a hug. 

Carol hugged her back and then made herself laugh. She squeezed Maria and then kissed her cheek before stepping back. "Wow. That was intense."

Maria ruffled her hair and looked at Carol sympathetically. "Honey, that's 16," she said drolly. 

Carol snorted. "Christ, Maria, I really fucked this up." She raked her fingers through her hair and took a few steps in a small circle. 

Maria watched the other woman for a moment and sighed. "Yeah, you kinda did."

Carol met her eyes and they both smiled sadly. "How do I fix this? I mean, if Monica's not on board?" She didn't even want to finish her thought.

Maria nodded. "If she's not on board Carol, then I don't know how we do this?" She shrugged and then blew out a breath. "How about we go inside and get a drink and then you can go find her."

"Me?!" Carol's eyes went wide and Maria laughed. 

"Is big bad Captain Marvel scared of a 16-year-old?", she teased.

Carol nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes, I am!"

Maria just laughed and held out her hand for the other woman to take. They walked hand in hand back into the house and into the kitchen.

Carol slumped down in the seat at the kitchen table, rested her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands. Behind her, she could go hear Maria putting ice in glasses and opening cabinets. A few minutes later Maria sat down two rocks glasses with a finger of whiskey in each. 

They clinked glasses once Maria sat down in the chair next to her. After a sip in silence, Carol looked at Maria with confusion in her eyes. "What do I do here?"

Maria sat with Carol's leg trapped between her knees. She curtailed a few locks of hair behind Carol's ear. "Go talk to her. She's out for one of her drives. She likes to take the highway north. Go meet her and talk to her. Tell her what you told me, and maybe she'll listen." 

"And if she doesn't?" There was real fear in her eyes.

Maria hadn't given that much thought as she pursed her lips. "How about we burn that bridge when we get to it." She patted Carol's cheek. "You can take the bike."

"Wait, you're not going with me?" Carol sat up straight."

"Oh, no." Maria sat back and shook her head. "No way. I'm afraid if I go and talk to little Miss Monica right now, I might end up in jail for child abuse before the sun goes down." She curled her upper lip and then sipped her drink. 

"Ugh." Carol let her head fall forward onto Maria's shoulder.

Maria just chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Just go talk to her and tell her what you told me."

"You sure I can't just buy her a pony?" Carol's words were half-muffled as she raised her head.

"Ha!" She stood and grabbed the motorcycle keys off the hook next to the fridge. "Nice try, Ace. She's 16. Think, big. Think, yacht."

"Yacht? Like a yacht, yacht?!" Carol sat back stunned.

Maria had pity on her and just grinned. She cupped her cheek and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Go and talk. There's GPS on the car, but she won't be hard to find."

Carol groaned and finally stood up. "Fine. By the way, who taught her to peel out like that?" She put the keys in her pocket. 

"I did," Maria said with pride before cutting her eyes at Carol. "Which I learned from you." 

Carol smirked. "Yeah, you did." She moved through the living room and found a pair of boots and grabbed her leather jacket. 

Maria met her at the front door. "She's does love you, but she's angry."

Carol let go of a resigned sigh but she put her shoulders back and stood up straight. "She's not wrong Maria. So, much time has passed." Her smile was sad. "Maybe too much."

"Only if you let it be too much." She held Carol's gaze before cupping her cheek and leaning in and softly kissing the other woman. "I'll be here when you get back."

Carol pressed a kiss to the palm of Maria's hand and then headed out the front door. 

* * * 

_ Three Hours Earlier. _

_Maria had the top half of her khaki-colored romper rolled down to her waist, exposing her white tank top. Safety gloves covered her hands as the toned muscles in her arms flexed when she pushed against the handle of the wrench. She leveraged her strength against the handle and eventually the bolt on the casing for the turbines gave way. "Good grief." She picked up the phone she had put down and stepped back._

_"Sorry 'bout that, I just needed to get that stupid bolt off." The person on the other end started to say something, but Maria stopped them as she heard a whistle and dull thud. "Um, can you hang on a second." Maria held the phone in her left hand and pressed it against her shoulder as she picked up the large F-shaped pipe wrench from the table. She gripped the end tightly in case she needed to swing and she stepped quietly out from under the cover of the workshop in the backyard._

_Tense shoulders relaxed and Maria found herself smirking About 20 feet away, rising up off of one knee from what was clearly not a 2pt landing, was Carol Danvers. A little worse for wear, with tired eyes, and mud on her boots, but she still wore a lopsided grin and bright brown eyes were fixed on Maria._

_Maria stood stunned silent for a moment until she registered the sound of her name being faintly called. She looked down at the phone in her hand and blinked. "Hey, um, something came up. I need to take a rain check, okay." She barely waited for an answer as she pressed the end button and shoved the phone in her pocket. She tossed the wrench and took a few steps towards Carol, who was walking slowly in her direction._

_They met on the grass. Carol's helmet receded and blonde hair spilled over her shoulders. She gave a nervous wave as she watched several emotions play over Maria's face. "Hey, you."_

_Maria just blinked repeatedly upon taking in the sight of Carol standing in front of her. Despite the bags under her eyes, she still had a youthful glow. Her eyes looked tired and she was definitely in need of a haircut, but she was certainly standing in front of her in one piece. "Hey yourself." Maria's response was as subdued as her smile. She let go of a laugh that sounded more unsure than it sounded amusing. Maria hugged her arms across her body, seemingly unsure if she wanted to reach out to Carol or not - she settled on the latter._

_The action did not go unnoticed by Carol. Her smile wavered just a touch and she ducked her head a bit. "I, uh, just got in."_

_Maria nodded. "I can see that." She looked the other woman up and down in a cursory perusal. She appeared to be in one piece, and maybe it was just nerves and tension from them both, but something was off. "How about you come inside and I get you a beer and bath."_

_Carol picked her head up and grinned. "You saying I smell?"_

_Maria just rolled her eyes as she dropped her arms to her side. "Nah, I'm just saying you look like you could use a beer and bath." She winked and then turned to head inside. She could hear Carol take a deep breath and Maria took one of her own as they entered the house in silence._

_Carol's eyes darted all around the home. The couch looked different, but the dining room table was still there and she was pretty sure the tv was new, but she wasn't sure. So much of the last time (the first time) she had been there was a blur. Her priorities had been different. She watched Maria head into the kitchen and Carol closed the door behind her._

_"Why don't you leave your boots down here," she called out from the kitchen. "Suit, if you want to too, and I'll meet you in the bathroom." She stuck her head out of the kitchen and saw Carol unzipping her boot. "You remember the way right?" There was no sarcasm in her voice, but the subtext was there and they both knew it as they avoided each other's eyes._

_"Um, uh, yeah. Sure thing." Carol focused on easing out of her boots and avoided Maria who retreated back into the kitchen. Carol held back her groan as she rubbed the back of her neck and then headed upstairs._

_As she reached the hallway, for a moment she was unsure of which way to go. There was the bedroom, Maria's bedroom off to the right and then down at the end of the hallway was the guest bathroom. She froze._

__

_Maria's voice rang out. "The tub's at the end of the hallway." Her voice carried up the steps. "Unless you want a shower?"_

_Carol shook her head at her own foolishness. "A bath sounds great actually." Carol made her way down the hallway and entered the bathroom. Clearly, this was Monica's domain. A pale purple cabinet was flush against the wall over the toilet. Its shelves were covered in all manner of hair products, makeup, a cd player/radio, and everything a teenager would need for a home spa. Carol didn't fight the smile that pulled at her lips. She peered at the neatly arranged shelves and picked up a bottle of nail polish. It was a glittery dark purple that reminded her of a Lagoba star field._

_"Dear God, please don't use her nail polish or she will flip." Maria's voice was light._

_Carol jumped a bit at the sound of Maria's voice. "Sorry, just looking."_

_Maria just nodded while she entered the sizable bathroom and headed towards the bathtub to her left. She turned on the faucet and ran her fingers under the water. When she was satisfied with the temperature she pulled the stopper and stood up._

_Carol sat down on the closed toilet seat with her suit jacket unzipped and watched the other woman. Maria sat down on the edge of the tub and stretched out her arms to brace herself. They regarded one another in silence._

_A long minute passed with only the sound of the running water to provide a soundtrack._

_"Bubbles or no?"_

_Carol furrowed her brow in question._

_Maria nodded towards the filling tub. "Bubbles? Or no?"_

_Carol nodded and tilted her head. "Maybe a few bubbles."_

_Maria's smile was small but it was genuine. She grabbed a bottle on the edge of the tub and poured the contents under the stream of water. She snapped the bottle shut and placed it back down before she faced Carol once more._

_"So," Maria started. "How've you been?"_

_Carol chuckled softly to herself and ran a hand roughly through her hair. "Long answer or the short?"_

_Maria leaned forward a bit and held Carol's gaze for the first time. "I've got the time if you've got the time."_

_And there it was, just like her flying, Maria was a surgeon. The statement slipped right in between Carol's ribs and sliced all the important arteries. Carol kept her eyes locked to Maria's and she sat up straight as she answered, "I've got the time."_

_A heartbeat went by and finally, Maria stood up. She turned the faucet off. "Why don't you hop in and I'll go get that beer." She waited for Carol to stand before she moved towards the door. Carol made no attempt to move as Maria ended up in front of her. In her bare feet and Maria still in her boots, the darker woman was almost a head taller than Carol._

_Warm brown eyes roamed over Carol's face once more and what she saw was not some intergalactic bad-ass superhero, but instead, she saw a woman who was weary with travel and just a little homesick. She saw Carol. For the first time since Carol had arrived, Maria's smile reached her eyes as she looked the other woman over. Maria almost stopped herself, but she threw good sense to the wind and raised her right hand to caress her jaw. The contact elicited immediate responses from them both._

_Carol closed her eyes to the touch of Maria's hand against her cheek and she couldn't have cared less that a soft whimper rose from her throat._

_Maria drew in a stuttering breath and felt the warmth of Carol's skin against her palm. She was really here. She was really home. Reluctantly, she dragged her hand away. "Don't let the water get cold." Her words lingered behind her as she headed to the kitchen for beers and a much needed moment to clear her head._

_It was 12:45 in the afternoon on Friday, but that didn't' stop Maria from popping the top on a cold beer and taking a deep swig. She leaned back against the counter and let go of what could only be a relieved sigh. She put her beer on the counter and put her face in her hands before letting go of a silent scream. Her heart thundered against her chest and in the next breath, she found herself giggling into her hands. Eventually, she came up for air and she wiped at a few errant tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. If anyone else were upstairs she would've thought she was going crazy._

_But no, upstairs was Carol Danvers: her best friend, her anchor, her strength, her fire, her love. When everything else burned away, Carol was always there: boot camp; flight school; birthing class; and always on her wing. Even when she wasn't there she was still there, haunting corners and lingering in her heart. Just as she had been too stubborn to die, Maria realized she herself, had been too stubborn to let Carol go. And this time she wasn't going to let Carol leave this time without making that clear. On an exhale she looked up to the ceiling. Only five minutes had passed since she left Carol upstairs, but she knew she was still there. She shook the thought from her mind and refused to add 'for now'. Maria swiped the two cold bottles off the counter and headed upstairs._

_Maria entered the quiet of the bathroom to find Carol, with knees drawn up and staring at the tile. She sat the beers on the back of the toilet before moving to kneel down beside the tub. Maria wordlessly picked up the loofah along with the soap and dipped them both into the heat of the water. The muscles of Carol's back tensed even as Maria gently touched the material to her skin. She dipped into the soapy water and then drew slow circles across her exposed back. Carol remained still with her knees clutched to her chest, taking simple small breaths. Maria's fingers and the prickly roughness of the loofah swept across her back and Carol so badly wanted to unfurl herself and simply float, but then she thought that would be too much like the space that she left, and the only thing she wanted in this world at this moment, was to be firmly on the ground. More importantly, she wanted to be here with the sure feel of Maria's hands on her doing nothing other than willing her muscles back from atrophy and reminding her of what it felt like to be made malleable and worthy._

_Maria's brown eyes stayed fixed to Carol's back as she drew the loofah up and down her spine, across shoulders, and down her arms. She made several sweeps across Carol's flesh and as she did she reacquainted herself with the lines and marks she knew so well. She also uncovered new marks and lines and skin. In places that she had long been familiar with she found scars. Some she knew well, like the little nick by the California shaped birthmark just beneath her left shoulder blade. She had gotten that crawling beneath barbed wire, not in boot camp, but from stealing away into a junkyard at 15 so she could steal parts for the go-kart she was building. Among the familiar nicks and bruises, she found new scars. Some were small bumps and what was clearly a sliver of discolored skin, probably from a burn on her right elbow. There was also a long laceration and something nasty on her right side that curled around the front._

_Maria fought off angry tears. "Jesus, baby, what happened to you?"_

_Carol clutched her knees tighter in response and Maria said nothing when she saw the tears fall. Instead, she continued her ministrations. Her strokes were long and soothing. She covered every inch of skin. Her touch a balm to her body and spirit as if performing ablutions. She knew it wasn't enough, but at that moment it had to be enough, it needed to be enough for them both._

_They stayed in the tub until Maria had washed every part of a compliant Carol. Hair washed and skin shiny with water, she helped her dry off and then they left the quiet of the bathroom. They ambled quietly to the bedroom and Maria helped her dress in a soft shirt and shorts before turning down the covers on the queen-sized bed._

_Carol hadn't spoken in what felt like an hour, and as Maria tucked her in, Carol's only words were a mumbled jumble of "thank yous" and soft "sorrys"_

_Maria moved to leave and then she heard a voice scratchy and dry from disuse say, "will you stay with me? Just for a while."_

_Maria's smile was a little sad but mostly warm. She stripped to her underwear and tank top and got under the covers. Gone was the hesitation from earlier, so she did not falter as she reached out and pulled Carol against her. Simultaneously, they both emitted soft sighs at the feel of one another._

_Carol gripped Maria's hand tightly and drew it up to her chest. They lay dozing until Carol spoke. "I didn't mean to be gone so long."_

_The kiss she placed on the nape of Carol's neck was meant to sooth. "I know baby, I kn-_

_Carol rolled over but stayed tucked close to the other woman. She curled in and rested her forehead against Maria's and held her hands. "You don't know, Maria. I wanted to do this right. I made a promise, and I just wanted to get it right, and I just needed-_

_Growing panic was evident in Carol's voice and Maria shushed her and freed her right hand so she could smooth her fingers along Carol's cheek. "It's okay, It's okay. You had a mission and I know you. I know you tried."_

_Carol was nodding her head and trying not to cry. "I tried, I did. I promise you." She felt Maria's lips on her forehead and she relaxed. "I promise."_

_"And you're here now, that's all that matters." She spoke the words against Carol's forehead and then she pressed a kiss there and on the bridge of her nose._

_Carol took a deep calming breath aided by the feel of Maria combing her fingers through her hair. "I did it though." She smiled weakly._

_With a lazy tone, Maria asked, "You did what?"_

_Almost a whisper, Carol responded. "We found a planet. A safe haven, the light engine, the whole thing." There was a tiny grin on her lips._

_Maria smiled fully for the first time in an hour. She leaned back a bit, so she could look at Carol fully. "They're safe? Talos and his family? The others?"_

_Carol nodded and they met eyes. Her smile grew wide. "It's a Paradise, Maria. And it's on the other side of anything ever mapped. 23 light years away, in fact."_

"23? Holy wow!" She blinked a few times to let the idea settle and what it might mean. "And what about the Kree?"

_Carol's smile was triumphant. "A truce of sorts."_

_Dark eyebrows rose. "A truce?"_

_A head nod. "Yeah. It's holding for now."_

_Maria grinned, but then she sobered. "And when it doesn't?"_

_The corner of Carol's mouth turned up. "The Skrulls are so far away it won't much matter."_

_Maria was quiet for a beat as she took in the other woman's words and confident smirk. "Carol! That's amazing." She smoothed back the hair from Carol's forehead and they just gazed quietly at one another for a moment. The air was thick with trepidation and finally, it was Carol who moved in first, pressing a soft kiss to Maria's lips. Just as Maria began to reciprocate, Carol pulled back with a quick jerk._

_"Oh, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to presume."_

_Maria chuckled. "Since when does Carol Danvers need to presume."_

_Blonde eyebrows arched high. She sputtered out, "well, I just- I mean- It's been, well, you know-uh, and I don't know if-_

_Maria stopped her rambling with a kiss. It was sweet and slow, simply a meeting of lips, but it was grounding and familiar. "You're cute when you ramble."_

_Carol blushed and then with more confidence she kissed Maria, and then they were kissing each other in earnest. Fingers found purchase on familiar spots and their kisses were not frantic, but patient and reverent._

_"I missed this so much," Carol said between kisses. "I hate that it took so long. I just didn't know what was real or a wish."_

_Maria ignored her relieved tears and buried her fingers in Carol's slightly damp hair and tugged her closer as they lost themselves to enjoying to feel of each other's mouths. She too, couldn't remember what was real or remembered at this point anymore either, but for now, the present was the only thing that made any sense. Carol was here, in her arms, in the bed that should be theirs and Maria was caught up in the fever of her presence._

_In a near breathless soft voice, she spoke. "I haven't wished for anything else but this for so long." She sucked on Carol's bottom lip and they both moaned at the action._

_Her heart beat a chaotic rhythm against her chest as their legs tangled together. "I've been thinking about you and us for so long, so forgive me if I'm a bit rusty." Her laugh was self-conscious._

_Maria giggled as she gripped Carol's hip and slid her thigh between her legs. With a devious smirk, she watched Carol's eyes roll back in pleasure. "I think we'll be fine."_

_Carol could only hum her agreement as she kissed her way down Maria's throat. They moved together with soft moans and stuttering breaths providing a soundtrack to their movements. Carol kissed and sucked her way up the other side of Maria's neck before she found full lips to lose herself in once more. Their kiss was deep and slow, drawing on as much muscle memory as they drew on the excitement of a new experience._

_The sound of Carol sucking in a deep breath made them both laugh out loud. "I may be out of practice, but I am so happy to be home."_

_Maria's head fell back against the pillow and she caressed Carol's cheek with her hand before allowing herself to get lost in the safety of Carol's bright brown eyes. Like the rings of agate that they resembled, her face may not have aged much, but in her eyes, she could see the passage of time, and she saw in her eyes what hadn't been there before: she remembered her._

_Carol's smile grew as she held Maria's gaze and observed her moment of epiphany. She nuzzled her nose against the smooth dark brown skin that she had dreamt of for so long, and then finally remembered. Like fired clay, the memory of Maria was seared into her synapses even before she knew who she was or what they were to one another. Carol was near tears, elated that she could finally look the other woman in the eye and have her know that she remembered what they were to one another, and more than that, that she was ready to come home._

_The words pierced the bubbled of their reunion and Maria pushed gently against Carol's collarbone. "So wait, what does that mean exactly?"_

_Carol arched an eyebrow and Maria plucked her shoulder. "That I'm out of practice?" she jested._

_"Carol don't play with me. I heard what you said. What's that mean for Captain Marvel?"_

_Carol stopped smirking and looked at Maria with devotion in her eyes. "It means that if you'll have me, if you want me, I'm ready to come home."_

_Maria was quiet for a beat while she looked over the woman in her bed, smelling of her soap, and dressed in clothes kept for her. This was the woman she had thought of for so long she couldn't remember if they were her memories or her dreams. She wasn't a fool, she knew Carol might never return, but that didn't stop the hope in her heart and it didn't stop the prayers for her safety. She drew her fingers along Carol's brow, down her cheeks, and across her lips. She was real and this was no dream._

_Her voice was soft but strong. "Welcome home."_

_Carol's smile brightened up her face until she was actually glowing. And then Maria laughed and they started to kiss and kiss, and hands began to roam, and soon things were a lot more heated than before. Gone was the hesitance and anxiety. This was a sacred space and places they knew. Fuller in some places, harder in others, new scars, and old scars. Suddenly, Carol's shirt hit the floor and Maria giggled when Carol pushed up her tank top and assaulted her stomach with kisses._

_Carol was moving up her sternum on her way to finding the sweet spot on her neck, before nibbling on her chin and lips. After that, they were rolling and jostling for leverage because that had always been a fight they liked to have. Maria thought that she might just let Carol win this time. But then there was the sound of a door and footsteps and Maria registered it before Carol, and next she was pushing and Carol was falling, and then Monica, -all 5 foot 7 inches of her- was standing in the doorway, and Maria was wincing, and Carol was still laughing before she finally sat up and saw Monica._

_The ice in Monica's eyes chilled the entire room._

_Blazing brown eyes glared at her mom and then to the woman on the floor. "Are you kidding me!!?? Are you kidding me?!" Her bangles clanked together as her hands flailed through the air and her braids swung, as she whipped her head between the two women._

_Maria was wrapped in the sheet and Carol could only fold her arms across her bare chest. This was worse than getting caught by her father with Jimmy Medwin in her basement when she was 12._

_Monica's voice boomed with frustration and shock. "I've been calling you for like a whole damn hour! I thought something happened to you! And this-this is what happened. Argh." She stomped her foot. "This is bullshit!" She gripped her book bag strap and stormed down the steps. They heard the front screen door slam._

_"Shit," Maria whispered out. She quickly put on her shirt and snatched Carol's off the floor. She handed it to the now standing woman._

_"Um, so are you in trouble or am I?" Carol asked as she put her shirt back on._

_Maria stepped into her jeans and she huffed. "Oh, I think this is definitely a "we" thing." The sound of her zipper broke the quiet. "Put your pants on Danvers." Maria didn't wait for her as she headed down the stairs._

* * *

 

** Present **

Maria's tip had been spot on, so she didn't even need the GPS. 

She spotted the maroon of her old Mustang as Monica made her way up Route 61 north towards Baton Rogue. Thankfully, while she may have been incensed at Carol, she wasn't taking her anger out on the clutch. Carol, on the other hand, had opened up the throttle on the vintage Indian Scout Motorcycle and gained on the Mustang. Monica was driving with the windows down and her left arm riding on the wind, hanging out of the lowered window. The wind distorted the sound and Carol wasn't sure she would even know the song anyway, but Monica was crooning along with something as she made her way down the desolate route. 

A few sparse cars were headed South, but for the foreseeable stretch of a mile, it was just Carol and Monica. As they followed the curve, Monica must've finally noticed her tail because the brake lights went on and the car slowed. Carol watched as the hazards began to blink and she too slowed and pulled over onto the shoulder while Monica came to a stop. Carol let go of the clutch, slowing to a stop on the passenger side of the car. 

Monica bounced her head against the headrest and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. "What do you want Carol?" She didn't both to even turn in Carol's direction.

"Just to talk, Monica." The teenager just kept her shades on and her eyes front. "Just give me five minutes, that's all."

Monica grimaced and just squeezed the steering wheel tighter. "There's nothing you can say to me right now."

Carol's stomach churned with fear. She looked through the open window and willed the young woman to look at her. "Then race me."

"Huh?" Monica turned her head and scowled. "What?"

Carol shrugged and smirked. "Let's race. C'mon." She smiled.

"I'm not racing you, Carol." Monica turned away.

"Look, if I win, you have to give me five minutes."

Monica pursed her lips after a moment. "And if I win?"

"Then just give me two."

Monica shook her head and Carol could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Fine. There's a dirt road two miles down. Take it to right and we've got a whole drag." 

Carol just nodded and kept her smile modest. "Lead the way." She stopped short of adding the nickname, "Trouble", and sat back and waited. 

Monica pulled off a moment later with Carol in her rear view. 

The asphalt gave way to dirt about a mile down the road, and as if she had Carol in her ear, Monica shifted gears and took off.

Carol just laughed and stopped to smile with pride at the teenager's instincts. In the next breath, she brushed off her nostalgia and hit the throttle. She easily kept up with Monica and honestly, it wasn't a race she was trying to win, but as Carol sighted what looked to be a huge ditch and essentially the end of their track, she knew she was out of time. She kept up with the wheel well of the Mustang and risked a glance to her left. 

Monica kept her hands gripped tight to the steering wheel and her eyes forward, but a few surreptitious glances in Carol's direction revealed her anxiety. 

Carol glanced once more to her left when it seemed Monica wasn't going to ease off the gas, but then the ditch was coming up fast and Monica had to make a decision. She cut it close, but at about 500 yards, she took her foot off the gas and pulled the parking brake. A swirl of dust and rock kicked up as she drifted to a stop. 

Carol blasted through the dust cloud and realized a second too late that she had missed her safe stopping point. She let go of the clutch and braced herself for what she knew was going to be a hard drag. Thankfully, she was wearing her leather jacket. She made a hard turn and let gravity do its job while she pushed away from the falling bike. She rolled as best she could before sending the bike into a slide away from her body and headed towards the ditch. When she heard the crunch of metal hit cement, she rolled onto her back in a cloud of dust. 

Her head was abuzz and the road rash on her side hurt like hell, but she was fine. Between Kree blood and Tesseract energy, she was already on her way to healing. Carol sat up and swiped at the dirt on her chin. She looked over at the smoke coming from the ditch where she could see the back of the still spinning rear wheel of the bike.

"She's going to kill you." Monica's voice cut across the dying engine. 

Carol nodded before she eased up to her feet and dusted off her scraped up and ripped jeans. She roughly tousled her hair and swiped at the dirt on her jacket, and then headed towards Monica, who was leaning back on the hood the car with her arms folded and her lips in a serious straight line. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her hair and it was clear the fire was still there in her eyes.

Carol grumbled to herself as she came to stand in front of the young woman. She tried a lighter approach. "So does that mean I get five minutes or two?"

Monica's response was an arched eyebrow. 

So much like her mother, Carol thought. She held up her hands in surrender. "Look, Monica, I know you hate me right now and I don't blame you." She pushed her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "I messed up, I get it. But you have to know it was never my intention to be away from you or your mom for this long. Believe me, I wanted to get back here soon."

Monica unfolded and refolded her arms across her chest. "Well, we both wanted a lot of things and seemed like we didn't get them. There's no point."

Carol let loose a frustrated growl. "I don't accept that." Her voice rose a bit. "You have to know how sorry I am." She pulled her right hand from her pocket and touched a hand to her chest. "There isn't a galaxy large enough that could house all of the sorry that I am, but you need to know that I had to follow through."

Monica groaned and tossed her hands up. "Yes, I know. Mission and soldiers, yada, yada, yada." She gathered her braids in her fist and twisted before releasing. "Four years, Carol. Four. Years. You couldn't make it back just once? Not once? Send a space shuttle or freaking alien envoy for all I care." She kicked at the dirt and sniffled. 

The sight of Monica's tears made Carol want to hurl herself into oncoming traffic. For a fleeting second, Monica was that little girl with the huge brown eyes and missing teeth that looked at Carol like she had invented the solar system. For all of Monica's early life, Carol had been the soother of tears and not the person that caused them. Whether it was skinned knees or bad dreams, Carol had been there to swoop in and kiss away Monica's tears, chase away the monsters, and help her realize that everything was going to be okay. She was always there until she wasn't. Standing there and listening to the strain in Monica's voice, to the remnants of the little girl she lost, she understood with perfect clarity why she had dreaded this moment. 

She wanted to find the right answer, but even as she formed the words, she knew there was no perfect answer. "It would've never reached you in time," she began in a soft voice. "Even if I tried, it would've never reached you and I guess-

Monica stalked closer to Carol with her hands curled into fists at her sides. "So, you didn't even try did you?" Her eyes were full of tears. "Tell the truth. You didn't even try?" Her voice broke and Monica saved them both by turning away to lean on the hood the car. 

Carol sucked in a breath, seemingly surprised by the revelation. She felt a pulse of heat hit her hands, but she tamped down on her rising panic. What she needed at this moment was oddly enough, what Yon-Rogg had always tried to instill her: indifference and control. 

She took a cleansing breath and chose her words carefully. Tears edged her eyelids. "I was afraid of this." She used her hand to gesture across the chasm of space between them. "There was always something in the way and then one year became two and I just wanted to finish what I had started before I came back, before I came home, and then..." Carol trailed off as Monica turned around with bleary red eyes. "And then, I guess, I guess I was just afraid."

Monica's empty chuckle was derisive. She shook her head in disappointment and let go of a resigned sigh. "Afraid? You?" Her head shook in disbelief. "Nah, I think you were a coward." She locked eyes with the other woman, the woman she thought to be her other mom, her hero, her idol, and she watched her shrink under her withering gaze. The fight had left Monica's voice and the exhaustion was evident as she spoke in a flat, even tone. "If we didn't abandon you after six years, why would we abandon you after one or two?" She wiped roughly at the tears that spilled. "It's like you didn't even try." Briefly, she sounded like that little girl who couldn't quite make sense of why her goldfish was floating upside down in the bowl when she had gotten home from pre-school one Tuesday a lifetime ago.

Carol's heart ached because she knew she was responsible for all that pain and she wasn't sure how she could ever make it right. "I know you don't believe me, but I did try. And maybe you're right, maybe I was a coward." She swallowed hard. "I just didn't want to disappoint you or your mom or Talos and Soren or anybody."  


Monica rubbed her palms down her cheeks and let out a small growl of frustration. "First of all, there's no way you could ever disappoint my mom, and more than that I thought we were your family. We would've figured it out. That's what you and mom and Nana and Papa taught me. We were a family, and no matter what, we'd work it out."

In an effort to keep the tears from falling, Carol tilted her head back and looked up the sky. A lush orange and pink had begun to set in against the fading pale blue of the early evening sky. "You have to know that you and your mom are sometimes the only things that kept me going. I could give you a lifetime of apologies, but I'm not sure that would matter much right now." 

Monica's smile was sad and she just shook her head. "What's that apology going to matter if you're only going to leave again?"

Carol let the silence stretch between them. She wanted to tell her that she promised she'd never leave again, but that would be a lie. She wanted to scream she was sorry, but that wasn't what would mend this heartbreak. Carol watched Monica move towards the driver's side door, she knew whatever hope she had for reconciliation was slipping away. 

She watched her sit down behind the steering wheel and it wasn't until the door closed that Carol allowed her feet to move. She jogged towards the car. "Tell me how to fix this, Mon'? I don't know how to fix this." Carol let her tears fall as she could hear herself pleading.

The car's engine revved to life as Monica started the ignition. She looked up at Carol with sad brown eyes. "I'm not sure I know how to either." She shrugged her shoulder and waited until Carol took a step back before putting the car in reverse and heading away from the unpaved strip. 

Carol just watched the sight of the tail lights as they faded into the distance. When the lights were finally out of sight, Carol didn't stifle the surge of heat that pulsed in her hands. With a soul-splitting yell, she sent out two simultaneously photon blasts into the gravel and dirt. The force reverberated through her body and she launched herself up into the sky like a missile. In no time at all, Carol hovered above the earth in the dark cool of space. She looked down on C-53 with a mix of hurt and awe. So much of her life, what she could remember and even the parts she had yet to remember, were all down there on the ground. The rest of her had been born out here. There were brief moments when she almost yearned for the simplicity and structure of Vers' life. Almost. The moment she felt like she could simply lose herself in the vastness of space, she remembered what it was like to kiss Maria, and what it was like to hear Monica laugh, and what it felt like when they were a family. No matter what she had lost in those six years thanks to the Kree, she had never lost Maria and Monica. Sure, the faces were blurred and the images were broken, but they were always there, and she was always trying to get back them, even when she was running from herself. 

Monica's last few words washed over Carol, and as she headed back towards Earth, back towards home, she realized that she needed to show Monica and even Maria that they were worth the fight. Carol landed near the ditch, so she could retrieve Maria's bike, whereupon she headed to the SHIELD desert base.

_TBC..._


	2. Chapter 2

Part II.

Dusk had given way to clear midnight blue sky when Monica finally entered the house just past 9 pm. She gave a chagrined half smile to her mom whom she could see sitting at the dining room table with a tumbler of what looked to be Whiskey. The teenager gulped. Whiskey was reserved for tough conversations like "why are you getting suspended for punching Sam Thibodeaux in the chest at track practice" or "your father wants to see you, but you don't have to see him if you don't want to." She noticed the second tumbler and groaned. Monica took her time toeing off her canvas sneakers and leaving her book bag by the table. She headed into the kitchen and poured herself some ice tea before returning to sit down at the dining room table next to her mom. 

Maria rested her elbow on the table and propped her chin in her hand as she regarded her daughter. The two women sat together for a tense and silent minute, each sipping their respective drinks until Monica broke first.

She looked up shyly from the random spot she was focused on in the wood of the table to find her mother's dark brown eyes fixed on. Monica was almost surprised to not see the fury in her mother's eyes and it made her sit up a bit.

"Um, so, where's Carol?"

Maria didn't answer right away. Instead, she touched one of Monica's thin braids that had fallen forward and pushed it back over her shoulder to mingle together with the rest of her braids. "We", she began. "Well, she, thought it best not to be here when you came back."

Monica slouched forward and laid her arms on the table. Her sigh was barely audible. "I'm sorry about before, I just got angry and went all Mt. Vesuvius. I didn't mean that she couldn't come back." Taking the long way home had given the 16-year old time to clear her head. She was nowhere near done being upset at Carol, but she started to see that she had been all fire and fury which left no room for any concessions. 

A thick eyebrow arched. "Well, you kind of gave that impression." Monica dipped her head. She sipped from her drink. "But, it's probably for the best right now, because the truth is, if you're not on board then we both agreed that we can't do this. This isn't just about the two of us, it's about all of us."

Brown eyes swept up towards her mom's and Monica groaned before a soft "fuck" fell from her lips.

"Hey!" Maria slapped her hand against the table just for the sake of punctuation and emphasis. "You know what! You've reached your limit on "fucks" you got it." She pointed a finger at her daughter. 

Monica let her head hang down. "Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. I was-

With an amused eye roll, Maria cut her off. "Angry, yes, I know. I get it."

Realizing she was in a heap of trouble she sat up straight. "Trust me, I didn't mean for you to toss out the love of your life!" She was attempting to be snarky, but it fell flat. 

"Well, it may not be what you wanted, but it was the choice we made. And besides, what was I supposed to do when the other love of my life hates the other one." She rubbed Monica's forearm and grinned. 

Monica groused and dropped her head onto her arms. "I don't actually hate Carol. I'm just, ugh, I mean, I'm hurt." Her bottom lip jutted out in a pout. 

"It's not just you, you know that right?" Maria waited for Monica to look at her.

Eventually, Monica agreed with a nod before she sipped her tea. 

Maria continued. "Believe me, I know it hurts. Carol and I had a whole life before you and then with you. And then she was gone. And I'll be honest," she saw Monica look up at her. "That was the worst thing I had ever experienced." 

They shared a glance of understanding. "We actually broke up once." She laughed and Monica's eyebrows rose. 

"You were only a few months old and it was always about marriage and wills and official stuff." She folded her hands together on the table. "She was so damn impulsive and loyal and romantic." Maria couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. "We were such fools, but that's what you do when you're in love." There was no regret in her voice. 

Monica grinned as she watched her mom's eyes sparkle. 

"I think we spent about 28 hours apart and I just knew the world had collapsed." Maria laughed at herself. "Man, was I wrong." She blew out a breath. "I know it's different for you, but maybe if you give her chance then she might surprise you."

Monica frowned and then nibbled on her bottom lip. "What's the point if she's just gonna leave again?" She wasn't mad, so much as she was exhausted, the hurt and fear evident as she met her mom's eyes. 

Maria smiled at her daughter and reached out to grip her hand. "I can't answer that baby girl, but I do think that it means we should be grateful for the time we have. All of us." She watched as her words passed over Monica's face and her daughter gave a half nod. With a squeeze to her hand, Maria stood up from the table. 

"I'm headed up. You should get some sleep. Don't stay up too late. " She kissed her forehead. 

Monica drank some more tea in silence before she stood up and headed for the stairs. Briefly, she stopped at the front door and looked down at the knob. She briefly thought about leaving the door unlocked, but then she was sure that if Carol needed to get in she probably didn't need a key anyway. She huffed and headed for her bedroom. She was just stepping into her sleeping pants when she noticed a piece of equipment on her bed. 

With her brows drawn together, she reached down and picked up the small square that sat on her bed next to a wireless earpiece. She had never seen anything that didn't need wires, so she was a little unsure of what she was looking at. The square was about the size of a drink coaster and maybe weighed two ounces. She gripped the equipment and headed towards her mom's bedroom. She saw the closed door and lack of light and decided to just leave it for the morning. Monica gripped the equipment and returned to her room. She closed the door and fell back onto her bed, suddenly curious. 

Monica turned the small thing over in her hands a few times until she pressed the side and watched as the top popped open. She let out a small "oh" upon seeing a screen. There was also a keypad with numbers. She figured the earpieces were for this, so she pressed the pieces in and then touched a few random buttons until the screen blinked A list of number filled the screen and with a shrug she tapped the numeric keyboard to punch in the first set of numbers she saw: 1.1.0

The earpiece crackled and she flinched. She glanced at the screen and watched it fill with a gray background. The screen blinked once and then twice before filling again. She registered Carol's face, well the part that was clearly on camera, and the familiar sound of Carol's laugh filled her ears. The camera bobbled once more and Monica figured it was emanating from a camera on her helmet. 

> **1.10**
> 
> Suddenly, Carol's full face fills the screen. Her bright smile is unmistakable. "Okay, Yeesh. This is stupid. I don't even know how to send these things, but it's something to do, while I'm on downtime." The video stops. There is static and then it restarts. "Oops. Okay. Got it. Hi guys! It's me." Duh. Laughter. "Anyway, it's been maybe three days. I think. Crap, I don't know. Time is crazy out here. Anyway, love you guys. Miss you." She looks down as if embarrassed and then back at the camera. "So much is coming back to me, it's a lot, a little scary, but yeah." Her smile is dopey. "I just- lots to say, but not right now. I just wanted to say hi and figure out how this thing worked. I'm just messing with this thing." The camera bounces as she toys with the angles. She sighs. "Wanted to let you know how it's going out here. I'm half bored, but I've been out doing maneuvers! Maria, babe, you won't believe the Gs I can pull. And I think I can go hypersonic in this thing." Her smile was beaming. "I need to run. Hey Trouble, stay out of trouble!" She laughs at her bad joke. "I don't know how long these things last. Love you! Love you! She blows a kiss." The screen goes blank.

 

Monica blinked rapidly down at the screen. Brown eyes darted towards her bedroom door and for a moment she wondered if she should get up and take the video to her mom. She glanced down at the little video machine in her hand and decided to play a few more before she woke her mom. This time she perused the numbered list with more attention. There were letters and some times words or symbols next to each set of numbers. There were some she didn't recognize or the occasional word that she did understand. She spotted a label she knew: birthday. She tapped in the number.

> **2.1.5.**   
>  "Hey, guys! Okay, don't know what day it is! Time is stupid. I think I'm early or late, but anyway." She disappears. Returns with a cupcake looking thing and a candle. "Happy 14th, Trouble." Her smile shows how proud she is of herself. "Bet you thought I forgot or didn't remember!" She laughs. "I won't lie, it's a bit of a challenge trying to synch up calendars with intergalactic space travel and jump points and hyperdrives. Maybe if I can go fast enough, I can put everything in reverse." She smirked. "That happened in a movie you know. Superman. I remember it." She blew the candle out. "Anyway, I can't believe it's been two years. I remember when you were born. Thought I was going to deliver you right there in the hangar cause someone was like, I can totally still get some inventory done." She rolls her eyes. "And then you were screaming like a banshee and I thought your mom was going to break my hand she was holding it so hard. You were stupid gorgeous even then, both of you." She looks away and her chest expands with a deep breath. Brown eyes come back to the camera once more. "Dear God I want to be there. I've missed too many birthdays." Her face disappears from the camera for a long few seconds. She returns with a little red in her cheeks and on her nose. She smiles despite her obvious discomfort. "I promise we are working hard. Skerith's making progress. Close call with the Krees last time out, but the engine is making progress." There's a sound like a small horn in the background which takes Carol's attention. "Anyway, love you, love you, love you. Swear to beans, if we get near the Milky Way, I'm blasting out of this thing."

For the first time in hours, a slight smile curves her lips. She sees a little glyph that looks like the Greek letter Delta and she presses in the number. It's a heads up display. Clearly Carol's point of view. She is floating in space beside a larger cruiser ship. Monica's brown eyes go wide in wonder. 

> **1.1.7**   
>  Carol's laughter breaks through the earpiece and the video feed is just spinning. Looping actually, because Carol is doing loops and spins against the star-speckled backdrop of space. The came settles as Carol hovers and the camera points towards an orb, a planet. From her vantage point, the planet appears a deep burnished brown and what looks to be clouds, covers the outside. "Looks...pretty from up here... I know." She speaks between big breaths. "That's D-785. Mostly volcanoes, so that's a no." She chuckles and the scenery zooms by again. "Back at it in another few hours," she adds. And then it ends just like before, with a chipper, "love you guys! Miss you."

Monica is truly intrigued now as it is clear what Carol left for her, a video diary - a log. If the first few are of any indication they are all meant for her and her mom. She quickly tied her hair up and then settled back against her pillows with the little square machine in her blanket covered lap. Now fully invested she began pressing numbers randomly. The screen remained dark for nearly 10 seconds and Monica was ready to press in another set of numbers, but then she could hear the clearing of a throat.

 

> 2.1.7  
>  It's dark, but there is the low hum of what might be the ship. A light in the background casts Carol in a silhouette of sorts. She is laying on her side and the camera from wherever it sits only catches half of her face. Her eyes are red and there are bags under her eyes. There is also a small bandage on her cheek. "Maria, Maria, Maria." She whispers. There is a sniffle, followed by light laughter. "You used to hate when I sang that song at the top of my lungs." She wipes at her runny nose and then closes her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice cracks. "I'm so damn stupid." She scoffs. "Thought I was just having inappropriate daydreams about my best friend." She opens her eyes again and she shakes her head. "I'm not mad I promise, I mean I get it, but - just- fuck, Maria." She growls and drags her fingers roughly down her cheeks. "I would've stayed longer or maybe, I -" She stops talking and rakes her fingers through her hair. "Ugh. I don't know what I'm saying. I just miss you. I missed you before, but this ache, this ache," her hands move towards her chest. "It feels like I took a Chitari saber to the chest." Her bottom lip trembles and she swipes at a tear. "Believe me, that hurts. Think about sparring with Sergeant Graft in boot camp." She makes herself laugh. "I miss your face, your smell, your laugh, how serious you would get when I was being reckless, how you never let me sulk too long, and how you loved me before I understood what having a family meant. I miss my family, Maria." Her forehead falls against the screen and she chants, "I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. Your hands, your lips, yo-

Monica's fingers tumbled over the keypad until the sound cut out and the screen went blank. When she was younger, she had always had her suspicions about her mom and Carol, but before, she had been toddler, too young to comprehend what it meant to be able to snuggle between the two women in bed in the mornings before cartoons and breakfast. Sure they stood too close together and spoke in hushed tones over top of Monica's head when they watched movies on the couch, but she thought that was the way of all parents. As she got older, she saw the way her mother would sometimes stare at the photo of them in their Air Force jumpsuits out on the tarmac. Aviators reflecting the sun, arms slung around shoulders, and their smiles were bright. She had caught her once staring down into a box and holding onto Carol's jacket like it was a life preserver. She had crept quietly down the hall only to later return and find her mother curled up on her bed, fast asleep with the leather jacket still in her grasp, dried tears on her cheeks. 

Monica had never said anything that day nor did she say anything the day she found the box at the back of the closet and found what her mother had been staring at. In addition to broken and melted dog tags, there were folded notes, Polaroids, and a strip of those photos that people could get from the booth at the mall. Monica wasn't dumb, she had spent Saturdays watching Xena with her mom, she knew what it looked like when two people were in love, two women were no different. When she had turned over the strip of photos she wasn't surprised by what she saw, and in fact, she was relieved more than anything. The series of funny faces leading to cheek kisses and eventually to a kiss on the lips only served to make her smile. She was happy that her mom and Carol had managed to make the time to be silly and love one another despite how hard she knew the Air Force must've been on them. She squinted her eyes and flipped over the Polaroid on top. She glimpsed what was obviously Carol's bare back as she lay face down on a bed. Carol was raising her middle finger to the camera. Monica had puckered her lips in embarrassment and put the photo back down and closed the box. She had put the box back up on the shelf of her mom's closet and she pushed it back into the far corner from where she had found the box.

She tapped in a random sequence of numbers and waited for the screen to fill. 

> **3.2.4**   
>  The camera shakes like Carol is running or walking too fast. "Shit." The camera blurs and then Carol's face fills the screen as the camera steadies. Her eyes are wild. Her hair is frizzy from being under the helmet. "Holy shit," she repeats. "So good news. There's a planet. It's beautiful. It's freaking 23 years away." Her laugh is strained and forced. "Twenty. Three. Like how in the shit. Argh." The video freezes, skips, and stops. "Sorry guys. Sorry. I'm just freaking out. It's going to be fine. If I have to get out and fly my damn self. I will get back. I will. " The screen goes blank.

 

Monica gnawed on her thumbnail and then looked down in disgust as she realized what she was doing. She had stopped biting her nails years ago. She pressed in the next sequence of numbers but nothing was there. She frowned but kept scrolling through none the less. She stopped when she saw two familiar letters - M.M. Perhaps it was a coincidence. She loaded the clip. The screen was dark, but she could hear breathing and then the sound exploded in her ears. 

> **4.2.7**   
>  The screen clears with the sound of an explosion and the image blurs. The camera is on its side - Carol is on her side - and the screen fills with boots running. There are yells. Carol is still in her suit. Her camera captures the chaos. The camera is at an odd angle and it shakes as she moves. Her breaths are quick. There is chattering and talking and screaming off-screen. "Get over here! Over here! Here!" The screen gets dark as a body covers it. "Get it off." The screen is blank and then it's sideways and then there is a bloody Carol, and Talos. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. This hurts. Damn it." Carol's speech slurred. Her eyes are frantic. There's blue blood everywhere. And fire. "Stay with me. Stay with me." Talos' face comes into view. She turns away. Her breathing is labored. "You have to calm down, Carol." "T-Talos, Ta- don't let me die here, don't let me - don't let me, pl-please. Please. Take me home. Take me home." She is clutching Talos and there are tears and blood. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. So-sorry Maria." "Sedate her. Sedate her." Talos yells as he holds a convulsing Carol. "Mon-sorry. I -- Her voice trails off as she slumps over and the screen goes dark. 

 

Monica pulled the earpieces from her ears and slumped back against the headboard. She held a hand to her lips and fought back the bile that threatened to erupt from her esophagus. She shut her eyes tight and took three cleansing breaths. Carol was fine. Obviously, she was fine. She was here. Monica's fingers moved on autopilot and she tapped in the same sequence once one more. The sound of the explosions crackled from the earpieces in her hands and as she kept her eyes fixed to the screen she slipped the earpieces back into her ears. The scene unfolded again and she took in the details she had missed the first time through. The ship was on fire and under attack. She could see some Skrulls scampering and other firing guns. The cameras wobbled because Carol was wobbling. The came shook because she was careening into a wall. Her body had been rattled by an explosion and she had fallen. Talos came into view again and the helmet was now on its side. Monica didn't focus on her face this time, but rather the damage. Hands were clenched against her side and there was blood spilling from the wound and her hands glowed. Carol's face was bruised and there was blood in her nostrils and on her lips. Monica could tell the pain was blinding. She reached out and touched the screen as Carol began to plead, "take me home, take me home."

This time nausea won. Monica managed to make it to her bathroom and hit the toilet. She flushed once she was sure the worst was over and then she washed her face and brushed her teeth. She peered towards her mother's bedroom door on her way back to her room and thought she'd just save it for the morning. It was late already. 

Monica refused to have her last image of Carol be one where she was bleeding out on the floor, so she scrolled the screen and went for something in the 1.1's. She wasn't quite sure how everything was organized, by date, hour, month or minute, but these at least appeared to be those early ones. An upside down Carol, with her legs in boots attached to a low ceiling, filled the screen. Monica smiled as the Carol on the screen proceed to do sit-ups.

> **1.1.8**   
>  "Hey, guys!" Her breaths are quick as she folds herself up to touch her toes and then extends back down. Her movements are quick. "Two days out from nearest jump point. Just left the last edge of the Milky Way. And guess what? Neptune is really that blue!" She laughs. "When I get these guys settled, I need to talk to Fury about getting you guys in a ship. I vaguely remember somebody talking about being an astronaut." She smiles. "Downtime obviously and I need to keep moving. Besides, I have a reputation to keep up. Your mom was the push-up master, but my abs are magnificent." She holds herself in a pike position before unfurling slowly. "Aw, yeah! And Monica, don't believe anything your mom says about her having better abs." Her laugh is light. She lets her fingertips graze the floor. "Whew! That feels like 200." She winks. "Time to practice with these puppies for a bit." Her hands glow. "Miss you guys! Love you guys!"

 

Monica snickered and tapped on the keypad again. She settled under the covers and let the glow of the screen serve as a soft night light. She promised herself just one more, but as she perused what seemed to be an endless list, she knew she as just lying to herself.

* * *

Part III

The set routine of her sleeping patterns had Maria waking on 7:30 even on a Saturday, despite a late night phone call from Carol that kept her up well past midnight whispering like a lovesick teenager. They had both agreed that a united front with Monica coupled with the distance of a new day, might help their case. When Monica didn't stir even for the aroma of fresh bacon and silver dollar pancakes (her favorite), Maria put the plates on the warmer and headed upstairs. 

She knocked gently and eased to door open to find her teenaged daughter star-fished across her bed, comforter, and sheet bunched around her ankles as if had gone running in her sleep. She smiled with the adoration of a mother as she pulled at the fallen sheet and began to ease it over her daughter, who hadn't so much as budged. The corner of Maria's mouth quirked as she saw the small squared shaped equipment laying on the bed next to Monica's arm. It didn't look familiar, but maybe she was unaware that Fury had gifted the burgeoning engineer with some other fun new tech. With an eye roll, she picked up the little square. If Fury had given her some alien tech she was going to have strong words with him. He had already taken her to the shooting range last year and let her fire off a phaser. Maria found curse words in languages she wasn't even aware of that day. 

She pressed a kiss to Monica's forehead and then left the room as quietly as she had entered. She sat by herself at the small table by the window with her plate and a fresh cup of coffee. Maria eyed the small box and turned it over a few times until she recognized a few Kree glyphs from her occasional work with Fury. With Monica in school, she opted not to move to D.C., but she had agreed to help him when he was nearby in Baton Rouge or at the defunct Pegasus base. Maria sat the equipment down and opened the top. A screen popped up and glyphs filled the screen. The instructions were simple and from what she could tell it was a recorder. She smirked as she remembered Carol's words from the wee hours of the morning saying that she had left Monica a little something. Maria had tsked lightly and said that Monica wasn't deserving of the gift at the moment until she did some apologizing. Carol had laughed it off and said it wasn't that exciting. 

Maria quickly found the display and looked at the view log. She nodded, realizing that she was right about it being a recorder. She could see there were nearly 200 entries and apparently Monica had gotten through nearly half. She used her index finger to run through the last viewed list and noticed a repeating sequence. It came up about four times. She pressed 4.2.7 and waited. 

The footage of a bleeding and wounded Carol only lasted 122 seconds, but it felt like two hours of torture to Maria. She pushed away from the table and sat ramrod straight, taking long deep breaths. She found a spot out in the yard to focus her stare while she remembered what it was like to take air into her lungs. She breathed deeply and remembered that Carol was whole and mostly in one piece. She breathed deeply and remembered that Carol was just in her arms a few hours ago, her voice in her ear, her name on her lips. Maria touched her fingertips to her lips and she exhaled through her mouth. 

She came back to the table and stared down at the recorder. If they were all like this, she was going kill Carol for leaving that for Monica. "Here goes nothing," she mumbled to herself. With a much more practical approach, she punched in 1.1.0 and waited. 

Nearly an hour later, Maria jumped a bit as the front door opened and she heard Carol's soft "Hey." Maria wiped quickly at the moisture gathered around her eyes before hopping up and heading for the front door. 

Carol stepped into the small foyer. "Is the coast clear?" She winked.

Maria only shook her head before she gathered Carol to her in a fierce hug. Carol reciprocated without hesitation. 

Eventually, Maria stepped back. She eyed the other woman with a mix of awe and some confusion. 

The look on Maria's face was a mix of concern and admiration. Carol creased her brow. "Everything ok?"

Maria slapped the back of her knuckles across Carol's stomach. 

"Ow!" She feigned hurt, but she was surprised. "What was that for?" 

Maria narrowed her eyes in Carol's direction. "That was for giving Monica that video log without a parental advisory warning." Carol grimaced. "Or me for that matter."

"But it wasn't all bad right?" She scratched at the back of her neck and followed Maria into the kitchen. 

Maria had mercy on the other woman and smiled as they lingered by the kitchen counter. "You want coffee?" Maria held up the pot.

Carol leaned on the counter and nodded. 

Maria fixed two mugs quietly and handed one off to Carol. "Come outside with me?"

"Yes, ma'am." 

They headed through the back rec room and out through the porch onto the grass near the workshop. They stood together and sipped coffee in companionable silence, with only the Parrish birds filling the air. They stood side by side amidst the serene live oaks and weeping willows and just enjoyed the morning sun. Carol brushed her free hand against Maria's, and they linked pinkies. 

"Where'd you stay last night?" Maria's question broke the quiet.

"Did you know that space is good for your skin," Carol joked.

Maria pursed her lips and tilted her head to let Carol know her answer was dubious at best. "Really now?"

Carol grinned. "Stayed at the base actually. Got this nice new outfit." She shook out a leg showing off a pair of black cargo pants and black boots to go along with the simple grey t-shirt emblazoned with SHIELD on underneath her leather jacket. 

Maria approved with a nod. "Very stylish," she added with a wink. "How is everyone?" 

"Good. Some new recruits and Coulson says hi. And I'll have the bike back by tomorrow." Carol chanced a look at Maria and saw a dark eyebrow rising. "It's fine I swear," she added in haste.

"Carol," Maria warned as she tugged on the woman's pinkie. "Where is my bike?"

"It's fine, I promise." She tried to smile in the most natural way. 

"What did you do?" She let go of Carol's finger and put her free hand on her hip. 

"Just a scratch and a bump."

Maria whined. "Seriously?"

"It'll be fine, I swear." This time Carol's smile looked more like a wince.

Maria groaned. "Do I even wanna' know what happened?"

Carol opened and closed her mouth quickly as she thought about what to say. "Nah. It's fine though." Carol smiled her most disarming smile and elicited a laugh from Maria.

"It better be fine." She wagged her finger at the smirking woman. They fell back into an easy silence and bumped shoulders. "So, did you even tell Monica about the Skrulls?"

Carol shook her head. "We didn't get there. Think that's part of the reason why I gave her the log." She shrugged. "I just wanted her to know that I wasn't a complete coward."

Maria turned to face Carol. "We'll both talk to her, okay. She's got a touch of the reckless and impulsive streak." She leaned her forehead against Carol's and they both laughed. 

"I can't imagine how that happened." 

Maria brushed flyaway hairs away from Carol's forehead. "Listen, I know how hard you tried. Am I a little pissed?" She bobbed her head from side to side. "A little, sure. But, we signed on for this life long ago. If this is the time we have together, then I'm in. I'm always in."

Speechless, Carol smiled at the woman she loved, before she leaned in and kissed her soundly. When the pulled apart, Carol breathlessly added, "I literally don't deserve you."

Maria responded with a snarky but sincere, "Nope." She emphasized the 'p' with a pop of her lips. "But you can make it up to me." She wiggled her eyebrows and rewarded Carol with a sweet peck on the lips. 

Dizzy from want, Carol's grin was lopsided. "I have endless ways of making it up to you, you know."

Maria's shoulders shook with laughter. "Good, cause I have a list."

They leaned in once more to tease each other with kisses. Maria let her empty mug drop to the grass so she could better grab ahold of the back of Carol's neck as their kiss moved from sweet and slow to something with a bit more heat and bite. 

The sound of the screen door banging against the door frame made them both remember their surroundings. The two women eased away from one another and turned their heads towards the back porch stairs. 

Lines from sleep were still etched into Monica's slightly scowling face. She stared at the two women while dressed in a pair of soft bunny slippers, Capri sleeping pants and a ripped Pearl Jam t-shit. Neither woman was sure if her scowl was for them or the early hour. Either way, she made for an incongruous picture and Carol tried hiding her grin behind her coffee mug. Maria pinched her hip for good measure. 

Monica trudged down the three steps and then meandered across the lawn with her arms folded across her chest. Her mouth was still turned down in a small pout. "Morning", she groused. She stood close to her mother and made a point to avoid Carol to her right. 

Maria attempted to bridge the gap. "Well hello, there sleeping beauty. So, nice of you to join us this morning." She looked Monica in the eyes and the teenager looked down at the grass. "Anything you want to talk about this morning?"

Monica kept her arms folded across her chest and rubbed her arms up and down. "Not really, not now." Her words were mumbled and she quickly darted her eyes past Carol and towards her mother.

Maria held her daughter's gaze and stared at her pointedly. Monica just shrugged and looked down at the ground.

Carol made a valiant effort to not to make her sigh audible, but she knew Maria noticed. She gave a last look to Monica and then she puffed out her cheeks. Carol held out her mug for Maria to take. "So, um, I'll let you guys, you know, talk." She paused and tried glancing at Monica who was actively ignoring her. Her sigh was audible this time. "I'm just gonna' go. Need to head to base. Coulson's been blowing up my phone, I think the bike is ready." The lie sounded plausible.

"Really, Monica?" Maria's disappointment was evident.

Monica could only hang her head.

"Maria, it's fine." Carol gave a half-smile. "I'll call later about the bike and then maybe-

She let her words hang the air and Maria just nodded. 

With her hands shoved into the pockets of her cargos, Carol nodded in return. "Okay, then. I'll uh, call about the bike." She waited a beat for Monica to even acknowledge her, but the teenager was stubborn to a fault. Sometimes Carol really did think Monica was her biological kid. She mustered a smile for Maria and then turned to walk away back towards the front of the house. 

Maria watched Carol's retreating form as she headed towards the walkway, then she turned her gaze back towards her daughter. She made eye contact with Monica. "So? You watched all that last night and that's it? You're just not going to say anything?"  


"What do you want me to say?" she half-whispered. Carol was still within earshot.

Maria just glared at her daughter and prayed for the strength of all the ancestors to not haul off and smack her otherwise bright child upside the back of the head. Instead, she flung her arm out towards Carol who was nearing the walkway that led to the driveway. She gestured for Monica to go. 

Monica rolled her eyes and then looked at the end of the walk. "Carol! Wait."

Carol stopped walking and sucked in a breath. She took her time turning around and when she finally did, Monica's long legs had already eaten up the distance as she ran full speed in her direction. In the blink of an eye, her arms were full of leaping 16-year-old. Gangly arms were slung around her neck and Carol's arms wrapped around her waist as she picked the teenager up and held her close. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Monica chanted out the words and Carol just squeezed tighter. She could feel warm tears drenching her neck and she didn't hold back her own tears. 

"You don't need to apologize. I'm the asshole here, kiddo."

Monica laughed and Carol joined her. 

"I just missed you so much and I'm so mad at you." Her words came out in a rush of tears. "You can't leave like that again and just not come back or figure out how to call or something." 

Carol's chuckle was a relief. Monica could be mad at forever if it meant she got to stay and try to make things right. "I tried Monica, I promise. I tried so hard, baby girl. And I will never be gone like that again. I don't think I would survive."

Monica nodded against her neck. "I know," she said through a sob. "Just please tell me you can stay? At least for a little while?" There was fear in her voice.

Carol kissed the side of her head. "I can stay. I can stay. And I'm not going on anywhere for a while and not without your permission, Lieutenant."

Monica's answer was a teary sob as she held on tighter to Carol.

Carol just held on and then she felt Maria's arms wrap around them both and Carol felt the floodgates open. They were going to be a mess.

At some point, Carol let Monica's feet touch the ground and the three of them stood huddled together in an embrace. 

Maria pressed kisses to Carol's cheek and Monica's forehead. "You two done fighting?"

Monica wiped at her face and nose with her the back of her hand and forearm. "Just for today," she quipped. 

Carol laughed and wiped at her own face. "What if I buy you a yacht, would that help?"

Monica squeaked in shock and bounced on her toes. The angst of the past 24 hours was already melting away. "A yacht, yacht!?"

Maria looped her arms through Monica's and Carol's, one on either side. "Baby, I was kidding. You're not buying her a yacht."

Carol shrugged. "I mean you said a yacht. But whatever." She grinned.

They walked towards the house together. "Do you even have a bank account or a real job?" Monica asked.

Carol looked up in thought. "I don't have a real job, but Fury said I have stock in something called Stark industries. No idea what that is."

Monica stopped walking and her jaw dropped open. "Whaaat?!"

Carol could only smile at Monica's shocked face. She looked at Maria for help. "Is that a good thing?"

Maria kissed Carol's cheek. "Pretty sure it means we're getting two yachts." Maria's laughter filled the early morning air when she saw blonde eyebrows rise to meet her hairline in genuine shock. 

"Two yachts and a full ride to college!" Monica whooped and sped past both women into the house. 

Carol laughed as Monica ran by and then reached out to thread her fingers through Maria's waiting hand. She pulled the woman tight against her side as they headed for the house. 

"Wow! So does this mean I'm out of the dog house?" Carol felt lighter than she had in the past 24 hours.

Monica threw her head back in laughter. "It means we are both safe for at least the next few hours, but be warned, there can be a crisis at any moment."

Carol let out a confident, "ha!" They reached the stairs and Carol stopped so she could look at Maria. "Baby, this is what we do. We are built for this." 

Maria's lips quickly found Carol's lips in a kiss and her eyes glazed over in absolute adoration. "I love you."

The smile that broke across Carol's face sent a ripple of multicolored light through her cheeks. "I love you too, so much." She pressed a slow kiss to Maria's lips. 

Monica's voice carried through the house. "C' mon you guys! Kiss later! The bacon's getting cold." 

Carol's head swiveled in the direction of the back door. "Bacon!?" She looked at Maria with wide eyes. "You didn't tell me there was bacon! I haven't had bacon in like forever!" 

Maria was too amused to say anything watching Carol tear off into the house with all the glee of a kid at Christmas. Leisurely, she would make her way back into the kitchen and do nothing more than lean against the entryway while she reverently watched as her daughter and the woman she was going to make her wife, (legality be damned) laughed and smiled together over the kitchen island. Maria knew it wouldn't always be this easy or even as bad as it had been, but as she marveled at the family they had cobbled together across time and space, she was certain of one thing - that Carol would always find her way home. 

_Fade out..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Okay, those were the fastest edits in all the world, so forgive me for the mistakes. Anyway, thanks so much for taking this ride with me! I won't say that I'm completely done with this family, but for now, I'm gonna rest and see what Endgame has to offer._
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> _Peace and soul grease!_


End file.
